Anniversary

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my dear friend and mother in law's stroke. That day X called me at my morning women in business meeting and told me something was wrong with his mom. My meeting was close to her house, so I went to get her. She was completely discombobulated. She hadn't slept in her bed, the phone book was open to moving companies and she said she was trying to call us. She was completely out of it. She'd had a stroke. She wanted to go to the Air Force Base for a doctor, but luckily they were closed because they would have sent us up to the VA in Westwood. I took her to an Urgent Care, who said to take her to the hospital. I took her to the hospital I was born at. In the ER they started tests, and she was admitted about 6 hours later. They did some therapy, she came home with us a couple of weeks later. She lived with us for a week, and then she was having small strokes. So she went back to the hospital. She was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, and she died in January, 10 days shy of her 65th birthday. I miss her terribly. Sometimes I can still hear her voice, but it is getting more and more faint. Like she doesn't think we need her anymore. Maybe, hopefully, she has more important things to do now than hang around us and watch.

After she died I felt a grief like I had never felt in my life. She was one of my best friends. I shared everything with her. She ate at our house and drank coffee with me in the morning, even though she didn't like flavored coffee. Jessica remembers watching golf and tennis on tv with her. She remembers going with her to the mall to visit Grandma's friends. Owen doesn't remember her. He was only two. I am sad about that. Although, he does have a lot of memories of her AFTER she passed. Like when she helped Jessica find her bracelet in the backyard. He often asks out loud to Grandma for help finding things. We still say we are thankful for her when we say our dinner thank you's.

A lot of people remember the day people died. I remember the day I was called in to service, and if I could I would happily do it for her again. I am sure she knew how much I loved her and she is in a place now that is only better because she is not sick. If she could be here with us I know she would.