Krycek 1996-2010

Our much beloved cat died yesterday. She had kidney failure and a terrible heart murmur. She was at least 15 years old, because she wasn't a kitten when we got her, but she wasn't much older than that. We got her our when we got our first apartment as a married couple, on PCH. She was a rescue cat, and I remember the day we got her. We went in to the pet store and there was a ring of chairs set up. They just sort of let the cats go in the ring of chairs. We sat down in chairs and she walked over to us and jumped up on me. Like she chose us. The lady who was there with the cats said she never went to anyone, so she must have known we would be her family.

One of my first times I was ever really afraid for someone I loved, it was kitty. She had jumped up on the roof of our apartment and I was afraid she would get hurt coming down. I actually asked Wayne to climb up and get her. And he did. Little did I know that cat could climb anything. We used to play with her in the front yard on PCH, with a stick, and she would chase it. One time, after a particularly active play session she sat there panting like a dog. It cracked us up.

She moved with us to Wayne's mom's house for the year we lived there saving up for our own house. She was an indoor cat there, and in Gardena when we bought our first house. She laid on my lap while I was pregnant with Glee and then Thomas, claiming them as her own children. She slept in their cribs (no matter what I did).

She moved with us to Torrance, and right now, our house feels like someone is missing. Not like she is just out for the day, but like she is gone. A warmth has left here. The kids keep hearing her collar, and her footsteps on the stairs. I see her shadow out of the corner of my eye. She is not gone, but her body is. I am really sad about this. Losing a pet is harder than I expected. We cling to the ghost, saying she would never leave us, she will always be here.

When we first moved here the kids would often have to go upstairs by themselves to get ready for bed.One of the ways they felt safe was knowing that kitty was up there to scare away any monsters. That's what cats do you know, they scare away monsters. Monsters HATE cats. They are horribly afraid of them. It hasn't come up yet, maybe because Krycek's spirit is still here, but what will happen now. Can the monsters get in? I don't know the answer to that one yet.

I will miss her warm fur, her little meow which wasn't even a meow, more of a mmew with her mouth closed. It was her way of telling me she was okay. I would ask her "you okay?" and she would say "mmew." We all miss the kitty kisses and the meowing at the door to let her out. I wonder if I should tell the punker girl who always stopped to pet her that she was moved on. I wonder if she will miss our cat.