Thursday, October 2, 2008

Raising a boy

I thought I would have to take special care with Glee because she is a girl. I spent a lot of time helping her to build her confidence, her self worth (we are still working on that one) and her empathy. I thought Thomas would roll with the punches. I was wrong. It seems he needs more help with his confidence. He spends a lot of time trying to get people to talk to him. He yells "HI!" to his friends, a lot, almost to the point of being annoying. Last night he had a nightmare and this is what he told me... "I pretended I didn't have anything to play with and no one was my friend!" My pretended he meant that was what happened in his dream. He has a very hard time when people ignore him and there are a couple of kids who know that and do it to him on purpose. One boy does it and I just want to smack him. He does it to his sister to, and it makes her cry and he doesn't care. I need to steer Thomas away from that kid, but now I find that a boy I thought was one of his good friends is doing the ignoring thing to him too! So, dear friends, any thoughts on this? How can we raise a boy's confidence? I may need to go check out some books from the library. He is such a sweet and smart boy, and he is generally kind to others, although he is picking up some habits I don't like. I thought I did a good job preparing him, but I can see kindergarten is going to be more brutal for a boy than for a girl.

3 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Hmmm...obviously you probably will get better feedback from parents who have boys than I, but it seems what you are doing for Glee could pass on to Thomas: building up his self-esteem (which I am sure you are doing v. well w/ Glee), giving his stuff to chores, things to accomplish and praise appropriately...staying involved with kids and telling why he should avoid the 'bad' ones and why they are bad. Hope that helps.


PS...what is the dealio with the 'word verification'? Is it to protect against spam? Just wondering. :)

Jill393 said...

All good advice, thank you faerie g Elizabeth... :)

We are working on the self esteem mostly. We tend to treat him older (and expect more of him) than other kids his age, and I am working on limiting that!

As for the word verification, it must be part of blogger, I have no control over it... sorry!

Anonymous said...

It may just be part of trying to have control (for those who do the ignoring). My oh-so-lovely boy had similar problems... having a hard time getting kids to play with him and then getting upset about it. I think it just works itself out. The kids that are being ignored or not played with eventually figure out how to find kids that are nice and/or available to be played with. You know? It is frustrating to see your own kid seemingly get singled out for mal-treatment - but I think it happens to everyone at some point. And those that are being mean will not have many friends in the end (or not the kind that you would want your own son to have). And you own child will be more confident having solved the situation. And when you think of it - it happens ALL thru our lovely lives - school, work, even the PTA! haha!! :) It's always frustrating and we always have to work around it and thru it. My two cents...

how do i set it up so my name shows up? next time i'll figure it out. i have beads to pack!! :)